又过一天.....

槟城今天原本是公共假期，
全槟的学校都休假一天，
很多公司也休业一天，
但，
偏偏我们的工厂就得上班.....
没关系咯.....
就去上班吧！
反正我呆在家里，
也是无所事事.....
要约他出去，
他又好像不想出去似的......
昨天原本想骗他说今天没工，
约他陪我出去逛，
但，
他一听到，
就问我，要去哪里啊？
都没地方去.....
一般人拍拖，
一听到对方要约自己出去，
一定很开心的.....
但，
他相反的....
我说约他出去，
他就很紧张地问我要去哪里，
快快地，就暗示说没地方去.....
结果，
我看他这样的反应，
我就告诉他说今天我得上班咯.....
他还是一样，
没什么反应......
我看了，
心真的很疼....
心如刀割，心在淌血的那种感觉，
这次，我真的感觉到了....
真真正正地感觉到了.....
真的很疼.....
好像千支、万支针刺进你心里的那一种痛.....
真的很难受.....
昨天挂了电话后，
一边唱着温岚的《祝我生日快乐》，
一边爬上楼梯.....
眼泪都要流了.....
但，
又怕回家难交待，
结果，就死忍着，不让眼泪流下来......
为什么？
难道我做错了什么？
还是对他不够好？
为什么要这样对我呢？
真的很痛心.......

今天下午，
放工回家后，
突然发现电话连接回去了....
原本已经expired的，
因为将近国庆日，
所以Maxis就做优惠，
让我们没进钱，
也可以sms到8月30号....
看了好高兴....
就赶快sms他咯....
结果，
等了整个晚上，
一封sms都没回来....
可能是电话没钱了吧？
不懂....
但，
有时，
他电话若是有钱，
他也不会回我的.....
他宁愿回他朋友的讯息，
也不会回我的......
我算是在埋怨？
还是在妒嫉？
还是已经麻木了呢？
我也不懂.....
若是没事，
要收到他的sms，
真是难若登天吧？
用这句成语来形容，应该不会过分？
我也不懂....
但，
他给我的感觉就是这样子....
虽然这样，
但，
我还是很爱他啊......
我真的很爱他！
什么都可以为他做......
死？
能吗？
我不懂....
可能会吧？
不懂....
不知道.....
没试过.......
最近都一直听这首歌....
Leona Lewis的Bleeding Love.....
觉得很好听....
很适合我现在的心情吧？
可能吧.....
把它的歌词贴在这里吧....
让那些没听过的人，
看看它的歌词，明白它的歌意吧.....


Bleeding Love ~ Leona Lewis

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater
Than the rush that comes
with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy,
maybe, maybe
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open
And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see
I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love